I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
