Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
