$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
