We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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