You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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