So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You were trust falling into bushes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
