I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
