fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
