She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
