your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
