I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize