she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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