Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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