Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
