I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
