He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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