If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize