pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
