If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
