Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize