i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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