I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
