So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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