Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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