she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
