Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
