wat bout pragnant strippers??
She said her name was "party"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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