I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
