ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
