hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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