So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
