I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
