i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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