Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just cut my nipple shaving
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
