dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
