would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
