So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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