i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
