it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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