well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
