when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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