We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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