Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize