maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
