high people should be assigned attendants
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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