just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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