I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it because I queefed?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
