A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
