I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
