When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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