Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
