Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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