jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
