love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
