If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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