At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A+ Viking dick
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
