If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize