My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
