she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So vagazzling was a success
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
