What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
