Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
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