It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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