Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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