Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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