i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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