You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
