i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
