Why does Corona taste like a burp?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
