she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
