My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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