question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
