he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
