you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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