He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
