I wish life had little blips of pornography
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
