Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
