The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
