Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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