two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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