had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will be naked everywhere
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
