I'm pants shitting drunk right now
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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