Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When are your genitals available?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
