So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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