He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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