My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
