dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize