Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
