Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
