I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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