I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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