Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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