white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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