dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize