I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
