I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
